Nursing a debilitated rib cage and back, I rise from bed albeit unsteadily from an all-night side-lying breastfeeding position. Last night was one of those nights when my daughter would latch on for the entire time she’s asleep (Not kidding) and whining when she’s not.
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| Then. Lots of time for petiks and camera whoring. |
These words swim through in my head:
“Desperate for changing, starving for truth. I’m close to where I started, I’m chasing after you.”
I know, I know. Lifehouse is so pop rock, so teeny bopper in the caste of rock. Maybe somehow my subconscious misses being one.
As I savor the rare and exquisite taste of being able to listen to my MP3s while working on some long-overdue articles while sipping coffee while Lia’s asleep, I remember how privileged I was to be young once. I don’t think many single ladies appreciate their freedom while they have it. Many of them are consumed about life’s little stresses like a chip on their nail polish after an overpriced mani-pedi, the heavy commute to work, or that daily serving of sermon from their moms during breakfast.
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| …And now. When being able to do the groceries even with an infant on your hip seems like a holiday. |
I tell you, when you become a mother yourself, even you would miss your mom’s wails (and her cooking) and the daily squish-and-grind at the MRT. There is much youth to be displaced, much pride and vanity to be grounded, much resilience to adopt like you never thought you should.
Motherhood changes EVERYTHING.
Very well said! I was a young mom, got pregnant unexpectedly. And, I never really appreciated what I had when I was still single until I became a wife and a mother. Don't get me wrong, being a mom is the best thing that ever happened to me. But, now that I've looked back, I have all these "I wish I could have this, I wish I could have done that" moments.
Oh no, no at all. Even I have those looking back moments. No regrets here, too, but I guess that desire to have personal space and our own voice do come with 24-hour job.
I'm a young mom too and I sometimes long for personal space. But no regrets here, too. 🙂
i totally agree that being a mom changes so many things whether you were young or already in your 30's. I became a mom in my early 30's. I can relate to your picture above. It's really funny, how we can carry all these things at once, right.
Looks like we all have the same sentiments, moms!
@Mitchelle – haha! Sometimes I wonder how I am able to carry so much too!