“Make them see what they are missing.”
I used to see this advice often on my social media feed, especially from coaches ‘specializing’ in breakups. I understand this is a pretty normal response to loss, especially if the person is kind or the separation wasn’t messy or cruel.
But there comes a point when it dawns on you: Why expend all that energy trying to constantly prove you deserve love? Why be in a relationship with someone who can’t or no longer sees or values your worth? The right person sees what they are going to miss before they even do. They will do what it takes not to lose it. That’s how evolved, mature love is.
So, yeah, it’s okay to want to hold on sometimes. It’s human. But don’t forget to live life for you, too. Authenticity, wisdom, and self-compassion are powerful and sexy. Do what makes you feel good. Go out on dates with yourself. Take a selfie. Journal. Run or work out. Meet new people. Surround yourself with good, hearty company. Share it with the world if it pleases you. But do it for yourself, not for anyone else. You deserve to give and receive that love.
They’ll know what they missed once you stop caring. They’ll eventually realize there’s nobody else out there with your personality, your mind, your companionship. If they don’t, well, you dodged a bullet there, didn’t you?
Vibration is real. We attract abundance, including that of love, when we quit chasing scarcity.
PS – From one of my favorite female poets of all time, Kim Addonizio:
“listen I love you joy is coming”