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Our World in Words

Our World in Words

Letter #20: Eight

Hello, Lia.
It’s unbelievable to me that today, I am saying to you, “Happy 8th”. I don’t even notice the years. Wasn’t it just yesterday that you were swaddled in that newborn jumpsuit? That you walked your first steps? Sped off on your bike on your own? Wasn’t it just yesterday that I let go of another year?

Today, I do so again. I bid a girl in second grade goodbye and welcome someone who will be in third grade. Each year I let go, knowing the clock doesn’t tarry or rewind. Knowing I will never meet that same person again in my life. We simply march forward, meeting many different and constantly growing persons that we call our daughter.

How bittersweet, exciting, poignant, life-changing, and humbling experience that is all at once.

Lia, I don’t think there is anything else I could tell you now that I haven’t said in my other letters to you. But the thing I want you to remember the most is that no matter how many persons you become in your lifetime, no matter how the tide shifts and changes you, one thing remains constant: I will forever be your Mama, and you my daughter. I will always love the many new yous that are born each year. And all those yous will always have warm arms to come home to, no matter how cold and bleak the earth turns.

Here now and always,
Mama

in Letters to Lia # Letters to Lia

About the Author

Gretchen Filart

Gretchen is a writer of poems and creative nonfiction. Her work appears or is forthcoming in Rappler, Philippines Free Press, The Daily Drunk Mag, Anti-Heroin Chic, Rejection Lit, The Alien Buddha, Maudlin House, Janus Literary, and elsewhere. She resides in the Philippines with her daughter and kooky cats and dogs.

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This is the sweetest! In November we did a birthda This is the sweetest! In November we did a birthday hike in Benguet. I didn't know my niece, @themaiaimperial, was taking candid videos and planning to make a video as a present for me (thought she was just taking photos of us and the landscape - and she does commissioned work btw). And she used one of my favorite songs: Mt. Joy's Evergreen! 💖

Should also prolly tell you: Don't wear sneakers, like I did, in Mt. Yangbew. Trail is muddy and slippery. Only wore a pair and that tita outfit because we were eating out after, and am too lazy to bring hiking shoes and dry-fit clothes.
Wrote this exactly on New Year - perhaps my heart Wrote this exactly on New Year - perhaps my heart trying to reawaken to light after a soul-shattering 2022.

I thought of people who arrived and left my life as the verses shaped themselves. I whispered a little thank you and some loving kindness, that 2023 finds them in peace despite the goodbyes we exchanged.
Being on the road fills one with so many good memo Being on the road fills one with so many good memories. A kind of pilgrimage to one’s old self and the small joys that growing up and heartbreak threaten to diminish.

I close my eyes and breathe, knowing my breath is a prayer sent out to the Universe. May I regain my footing out there, I whisper. May I be healed in your embrace as always. Rediscover happiness, and self-forgiveness for having a hand in breaking my own heart.

Read the rest on my website (new post, yes! 🙂). Link in bio.
Eight years ago, Lia and I took a bus to Sisiman, Eight years ago, Lia and I took a bus to Sisiman, a small coastal town in Mariveles. Last Sunday, we returned and took our photos in the same spots. How the town has changed - so has Lia. It seemed just like yesterday. Time flies indeed. Don't blink. 
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#ThenAndNow
#thenandnowchallenge 
#motheranddaughtergoals 
#travelwithkids
#Throwback
#Mariveles
#Sisiman
#travelphilippines
I am writing letters and essays on the website aga I am writing letters and essays on the website again (link in bio). The past months I felt like I abandoned them; that I no longer know how to write anything that is not a poem. God, the tears putting it all in words. So poignant (and sappy, like always😆). Feels like a return home. I hope to return home every week. 💖
This is how nauseatingly sappy I can get😆 Writt This is how nauseatingly sappy I can get😆 Written many moons ago. 

My friends: Who do you think you are? Jesus? 🤣

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