Healing is messy. It’s not linear. “An upward spiral”, as others call it. Sometimes you inch two steps forward, the next you feel like you’re a step backward. In truth: You are further along than you think you are.
That’s what I try to remember as I wrote on my felt board today, remaining kind to myself and allowing the feelings to unfold without judgment. All emotions are valid. Even grownups hurt. We are not immune to heartache. Things are not always dandy and fine – and it’s not weak to acknowledge that.
I also learned this: In its infancy, when everything is still shrouded in pain, it’s difficult to see heartbreak past what it is. But it eases in time as you tend to it. The clouds will part. You will begin to see that there is a bigger picture, even if it’s still unclear. Sunlight won’t hurt as bad as it did before.
On some days you will even be grateful that you savored and understood the depth and breadth of the human experience. You can now whisper intentions for the person you lost with unbearable happiness, perhaps while looking at a blood moon.
You will say, may your heart be as fiery and powerful as this moon as you embark on your new beginning. May joy and grace eclipse your sorrow when and if it appears, the way the sun eclipses the moon. May the moon, sun, and stars always remind you that someone from across the distance is looking at the same sky, manifesting good things for you.
In that breath, you didn’t lose each other. You are traveling together in this life, only physically apart.
Keep your gaze up for as long as you need, as happy as it makes you. Soon, the stars and harvest moon will reappear, and you can grasp their light in the palm of your hands.