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Our World in Words

Our World in Words

Psychobabble. And on turning 30.

Today I took my daughter for our usual Sunday day-out while her dad’s away for his usual Sunday bike-athon. No big trips to the city, just cake, MP3s and slumping on the floors of National Bookstore’s postcard section. I picked out colorful images of destinations to add to my ever-growing travel bucket – a hobby I have since 2006. Lia drew pens out of boxes, occasionally taking postcards out of the shelves too. ‘Twas a major cleanup for me but I’d rather have that than have her squealing ribaldry in my ear.

There is much to see and revel in out there. I have a Kelty Explorer on the way, and my mind is going haywire with excitement on what terrain that carrier will first land on.


Happily turning 30.

I am turning 30 in four months. While other women my age are busy lathering on a bevy of anti-agers, I wear my imperfections proudly. The constellation of freckles on my cheeks, the pimples from a non-existent facial care regimen, the crinkles ’round my eyes, the residual stretchmarks and centipedal scar on my belly. They are a testament of my existential tenure, how I have already graduated from all that adolescent drama and transcended to a plane where physique is really nothing more than face value.

I am at a point in my life where appearances no longer concern me. I am more concerned about not being able to make the best of what remaining years I have left by staying too much inside the house because the sun kills (I don’t even put on sunscreen, not even in the beach, unless I’m going to expend 3,4 hours constantly under unforgiving heat. I fancy the rosy tan). I am more afraid of being sheltered away from the infinite possibilities of nature and the world because it’s raining, or it’s too hot, or because there’s just too damn many crimes and criminals these days; a woman can never be safe. Just because I am a woman (Whoever said that is clearly unaware of the otherworldly capabilities and smarts women have, and I take offense in that). 



Beauty enthusiasts would probably say that kind of complacency is dangerous, but I think it’s more dangerous for my spirit if I wearied it by constantly conforming to the standards of people who don’t like how I look. I like working with what I currently have. I like freedom – in its most unshackled sense – no matter how excruciating it is to attain.


As a mother, a woman who’s had 29 meaningful years, I give more premium on the wonderful things I have yet to experience rather than dwell on those I cannot reverse like, uhm, crow’s feet. There is much to see out there, and I am ready and bleeding to see it all. And 30 is a good place to start.


30 🙂 Why the fear, ladies?


in Uncategorized # Random musings

About the Author

Gretchen Filart

Gretchen Filart is a writer from the Philippines, where she weaves poems and creative nonfiction about motherhood, love, healing, nature, and intersectionalities. Her works have been nominated for the Pushcart Prize and Best of the Net, received distinction from phoebe’s Spring Poetry Contest and Navigator’s Travel Writing Competition, and share space in local and foreign publications. Connect with her on Twitter, Instagram, and Bluesky @gretchenfilart. She’s usually friendly.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Marie San Luis says

    July 29, 2013 at 3:16 am

    I know the feeling of turning 30, I'm now 35 turning 36 but have no accepted it. Good thing that the Filipina blood is known to look youthful despite the age. So just say bring it on 30! 🙂

    Reply
  2. Mrs. Kolca says

    July 29, 2013 at 3:40 pm

    I remember my 30th birthday. Someone asked me about how did I feel that day and said, okay lang.. parang turning 25 pa din. Lol. Age is nothing but a number ika nga. I am now 33! 😛

    Reply
  3. Serene Shikukeza says

    July 31, 2013 at 2:18 am

    I'm also turning in years time. Honestly before I was scared of those numbers but when it dawned on me that I should worry for what life it will bring me rather than worrying for the wrinkles from then on, hindi ko na inisip pa yan. Deadmatology na! Mukha naman daw ako inutusna lang bumili ng suka. Lol

    Reply
  4. Patty | MrsC says

    August 1, 2013 at 12:31 am

    I turned 30 this year too, and honestly, I don't think there's anything to be worried about or afraid of. I'm looking forward to the rest of my 30's, and I feel they will be a lot more exciting than my 20's were. 🙂

    Nice to know there's another mommy out there who feels the same way that I do! 🙂 30 is a great time to start. I totally agree with you.

    xo Patty
    mrspcuyugan.com

    Reply
  5. Mommy Pehpot says

    August 5, 2013 at 10:39 pm

    30 last year.. 31 this year.. and I can't help but make a big deal out of it.. 30 is soo old.. pero my heart is forever 24 hahaha

    Reply
  6. levy says

    August 8, 2013 at 4:58 am

    Welcome to the world of 30's. I am 32 yrs. old and some say that I look older than I my age, and it sometimes hurt my self esteem. But you are right, who cares what others think. What's important is that you are enjoying your life and sharing good things to other people. Physical beauty may come and go but inner beauty is forever 🙂

    Reply
  7. Filipina Explorer says

    August 14, 2013 at 7:24 am

    How rude naman nung nagsabi 🙁 And yes, tama, what's important is that you're making the best out of your life. Who cares about numbers?

    Reply
  8. Filipina Explorer says

    August 14, 2013 at 7:24 am

    Forever young, yes! 🙂

    Reply
  9. Filipina Explorer says

    August 14, 2013 at 7:25 am

    Wow, finally a mom who is just as excited to be in her 30s as I am! Apir!

    Reply
  10. Filipina Explorer says

    August 14, 2013 at 7:25 am

    LOL! Naku who cares about the age. It's the years that count.

    Reply
  11. Filipina Explorer says

    August 14, 2013 at 7:26 am

    True!

    Reply
  12. Filipina Explorer says

    August 14, 2013 at 7:26 am

    I agree, Filipinas do look young despite age. Mas lalo naman Japanese! :0

    Reply

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