motherhood is true. It is difficult, nerve-wracking, and time-consuming. It
cuts you off from the world; makes you feel like an exile. While your friends are
talking about careers, parties, casual dates, and other things that do not revolve
around parenting, all you can share are diapers, vomit, moving up ceremonies, Saturday soccer games or ballet classes, walking the dog, milestones, and household chores. Because these are things that will dominate your
daily life. They will for a very long time. It’s normal to hate it once in a while.
friends for seven or more years. The last time I saw one was when she got
married in 2011. The last time I saw the other one was when she attended your Christening in 2012. We talk on Facebook perhaps once every six months and just
pick up where we’ve left off. We all have kids.
children, I haven’t seen in a year. Sometimes they have
extra time to spare, but as a working mother with a child who constantly tails her and pleads for play time, I have trouble fitting socialization in the
the time I cross one out and feel the least bit triumphant, I would’ve already
written an extra line or two of to-do’s at the bottom of the list. Sleeping at
11 pm and waking up at 5 to 6 am, you’d think I’ve got plenty of leeway to get those
things done, but that is NEVER the case. In the nearly seven years I’ve parented, I’ve yet to encounter a day when I succeeded in crossing out all to-do’s on a single list.
hotels like the one in this photo, I spend most times working and parenting. Mothers don’t take breaks from mothering. You only mother in a different
center of her universe. That it’s too romanticized and oppressive to mothers. I partly agree. A woman must take care of herself too, so she can take better
care of people she loves. But the reality is, the moment you
become a mother, everything else really comes second including you. You will relinquish your position as the center of you – at least until
a child learns autonomy bit by bit. That’s not overly romanticizing. That is just the natural state of
this: In between the tears, self-loathing, sleeplessness, and the times you
want to give up, there will be unfathomable joy. Humility. A lifetime of learning. Pride. Fulfillment.
Purpose – yes, even in those times nothing makes sense. Above
all, a sense of belonging.
life to be grateful for. Don’t let anyone else make you feel less.
will always have the certainty that I have you – here or without. One day, when
you do decide that you really want to be a mother, I wish the same for you.